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How to Handle Depression in Your Important Relationships

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Living with depression can take a huge toll on your relationship. The good news is, whether you have depression yourself or you have a partner with depression, you can learn what to look out for and what you can do to boost your and their mental health.

man and woman in relationship that's struggling due to depression and anxiety

with contributions from Gabrielle Ilagan

How Depression Affects Relationships

Depression can interfere with many aspects of living. Depression can deprive you of the energy or interest you need to stay in touch with the important people in your life. It can convince you that others don’t want to spend time with you. It can even make you think that you don’t deserve to see your friends or loved ones.

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What Causes Depression? It May Not Be What You Think

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If you or a loved one are struggling with depression, there can be several causes. The variety can be surprising.

There is not one simple cause for depression. Many other conditions have a clear cause. For example, genetic factors cause autism and viruses cause colds. The causes of depression are much more complex.

Research shows that several factors make some people more vulnerable to depression than others. Relevant factors include genetics, childhood experiences, as well as the meaning we ascribe to life events or circumstances. Many people assume the life circumstances or events themselves cause depression. However, it is far more likely that the way we think about those things causes us to cope well or to become depressed.

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The ABC PLEASE Skills: How to Be Happy

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The ABC PLEASE skills from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) are important for anyone who wants to improve their emotional health. The skills help set us up for success in managing our mood and emotions, and they pave the way for a happy life. See below for a summary of the skills and for lists of suggested pleasant and mastery activities.

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Depression After a Painful Breakup and How to Deal

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Breakups, depression, and rejection

Depression after a breakup can be a profoundly painful experience. Read below for tips from a psychologist on how to navigate this struggle.

When does normal sadness after a breakup turn into clinical depression? It would be easy if there were a set number of weeks after which it was “abnormal” to feel depressed after a breakup. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

How long you feel depressed after a breakup often depends on the length of the relationship. It depends on other factors like the circumstances under which things ended and the meaning you’ve ascribed to a relationship.

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How to Overcome the Vicious Cycle of Depression and Avoidance

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depression - Manhattan Center for CBT

Depression makes everything harder, including the stuff we used to enjoy. This can lead us to avoid those things. Unfortunately, when depression and avoidance join forces, it can be really bad news.

Behavioral activation is a treatment for depression that helps people focus on re-engagement with their lives. Specifically, it gets people doing precisely the things that are likely to improve their mood (Jacobson, Martell, & Dimidjian, 2001). Generally, when a depressed person is in behavioral activation treatment, they change the activities in their life to lessen depression. The therapist helps them to structure their lives differently.

Rather than assuming that there is a deficiency in the depressed individual, behavioral activation takes a more practical approach. It examines what is occurring in the person’s life to worsen or maintain the depression. This often involves looking at the things they do, the situations they find themselves in, and the things they avoid.

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Copyright © 2023 Manhattan Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy/Psychology, PLLC, d.b.a. the Manhattan Center for Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy & Paul B. Greene, Ph.D. except where otherwise noted.

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